May You Be Inspired: More than Enough

June 15,, 2019

By: May Rivera

There is a source where I obtained all the components that make me. My mother, the vessel that formed this eccentric individual that am I, is worthy to be praised. The month of May we celebrated the selfless women who provided their wombs and arms to nurture us to life. What better way than to honor my mother by dedicating this piece of writing to her. After all I am responsible for some of those fabulous stretch marks (clearly I was an artist from the womb). The fierceness inside of me is a by product of witnessing a woman relentlessly fight all odds in order for her children to have better opportunities.

My mom circa 1980

Let’s take it back to many moons ago, in a land far away, my mother at age 30 was facing a tough decision that would change her life and eventually mines. She found herself at cross roads for the country she called home (Nicaragua) did not offer enough stability to raise us. I can just imagine her thoughts. To stay meant, she would run the risk to stay in poverty with limited options to advance in life. To move meant, facing the scary unknown with a better option to improve her quality of life. The decision involved leaving the familiar to face uncertainty. She chose uncertainty. I often think of what my life would have been if she had chosen to not move. I would have been selling tortillas in a stand on the corner struggling to make ends meet. Yup, May the Tortilla seller. I can picture my banner (hand drawn of course). My tortilla stand would have been the best decorated one in the neighborhood for sure and my sales would have been perfectly detailed in a hand drawn excel sheet...but wow am I glad I had other options! My mother’s tough decision to travel with my sister, my grandma and I, as she was pregnant with my youngest sister changed the course of our life. My father lured my mom into empty promises that he would reunite with her once he had the opportunity. Spoiler alert: He fooled her. Thankfully my mom’s family made it possible for us to search for stability in a foreign land.

Upon arrival to this new world my mom faced challenges. This land of opportunities required courage in uncharted territories. My mom had schooling in her country but it did not mean much here. Without work experience and with a language barrier the options for employment were minimized to humble beginnings. Shame was left out the door if it meant providing for us. With three young daughters and an elderly mother to care for, my mom grasped the options available for her to put a roof over our heads and food on our table. I can proudly say my mom was a nanny, a housekeeper and a McDonald’s cashier. Those golden arches were provision for us- [insert jingle here] ba da ba ba ba, we loved it. My mom did not know how to drive at that time and did not own a vehicle, however that did not stop her pursuit for a better life. She would wake up before dawn to get ready for work which involved a commute by foot. Middle aged woman, walking in dark streets by herself, now that’s street cred, proud of my OG. She worked long hours standing up for entire shifts, she has varicose veins to prove it. I remember I used to take her shoes off after a long day of work and just giggle since her feet smelled like Doritos to me. Not fully understanding that the cheesy stench from her feet meant hard work she did for me. The roofs over our heads were many for her family took us in temporarily. While their intentions were sincere, we did not want to impose for we were not a small family. The homes we shared were cramped. This often involved all of us sharing a room. Having our own bed was a luxury we slowly obtained. Furniture and clothing were all hand me downs for my mom’s income was not enough to cover all the expenses. My sisters and I, did not always get the popular toys for Christmas or birthdays but somehow we found joy in each other’s company and in the toys we did receive. Looking back, I am glad my mom did not spend her hard earned money on new barbie dolls for me, since I used to rub their makeup off with acetone and give them new hairstyles with my mom’s curling iron (I learned that synthetic hair melts and does not style). In the materialistic aspect, we did not have a lot. Yet laughter was always present in all our homes.

I saw my mom take both parental roles to the best of her knowledge. My childhood had many limits due to financial reasons, but love was in overflow. My father was an obscure figure in the earliest of my memories. My normal was writing letters or recording messages for him in a cassette (yeah I'm old). Very seldom did I receive a response to those letters. When phone conversations were possible, my father would ask me to pray so that he could be reunited with us. We prayed like a broken record. My father never came to us (we went to him but that’s a story for another day). As years passed, my mother would encourage us to communicate with him. Never did she speak ill of my father nor where the true reasons for his absence discussed, that is until the curiosity of my adolescence came to play. Turns out my dear ghostly father had betrayed my mother, formed another family as he convinced her to search a better life elsewhere. If your thinking he’s an a**whole, don’t worry so did I. My mom learned this harsh truth once she had saved enough money to bring him to our side and he refused. His refusal was tied to the loyalty to his other family. He wanted my mom to also pay for his second family’s expenses to come to the United States ( by know you must be convinced he was an a**whole). My mom of course denied to be part of that for it was absurd and not even an option based on my mom’s sole income. Through my mom’s broken heart she continued to pour out her love and devotion to my sisters and I.

My mother provided love consistently. My memories of my childhood are not based on what was missing, As a matter of fact, I noticed the “lack of” until I became older. I noticed I did not have a dad until a friend of mine asked me why I only had a mom. Only then I realized I was missing something. What I do remember is my mom staying up with me when I felt sick despite her working a full shift. I remember having every birthday celebrated even if it was just a small cake with my sisters. I remember my mom cheering for me whenever I had an award ceremony (which were a lot because I was a nerd), which meant she was losing an hour from work. I remember my mom not buying herself shoes just to buy me some pricey suede shoes I had my eyes on. I remember watching my mom praying on her knees each night, asking God to supply our every need. This simple act forever forged in me a deep connection with God for he came through for us. The examples could go on and on for I have so many memories where her loved stepped in. Her sacrifice for us, her humor in adversity and her unwavering morals are instilled in me. Was she always smiling, heck no. Some days she will scream if dishes were not clean or if I laughed when I was punished (I did that very often). Her humor was not always well received for her sarcasm mixed with a raunchy joke was not always welcomed with other parents (but I loved her for it). I did not always understand why we would be in church every Sunday without fail but I am grateful that I have something to stand for now. No she is not perfect, but I might say she sure comes close to it. Every good thing I am, is because of her. Even in my sarcasm, I am reminded that the apple does not falls far from the tree.

If you are reading this and you are a single mom wondering if you are doing enough, let this blog of a grateful child be your answer. YOU ARE ENOUGH! Your love for you kid is enough and that very love is what will see them through life. A simple touch of a mom is life changing. A simple word of praise to your kid will give them enough confidence that life often requires. Money makes life comfortable but love makes it worthwhile. Please do not feel like a failure because you do not have a co-parent. While two parents raising a kid is ideal, it is not always a reality. You have every quality in you to give your kids a loving life. When your heart aches due to struggles, be comforted that your children’s love will mend the broken pieces. When your strength falters and when doubt of making it through another day steals your peace, know that the season of sacrifice will be rewarded. When you feel overwhelmed for the lacking, know your children will remember your love, not the materialistic things. The reward will be to see your children flourish and accomplish greater due to your sacrifice. You are enough! I stand in ovation for all the single moms out there. If no one has told you this today, let me be the first. “You are doing an awesome job!”

To my mom,Thank you! Thank you for loving my sisters and I through every struggle you faced as a single mom. I know I was not an easy kid to raise (my sisters were not a walk in the park either). Sorry for all the times I would call out your name repeatedly just to ask you what time it was with the pure intention to annoy you. Thank you for disciplining me when I was out of line. I am a respectful adult (when I want to) because of you. Thank you for being selfless. You chose not to remarry when we were young because you did not want to risk giving us a bad step dad. The decision was selfless and we are honored to call you mom. I really hope you can now give love another chance (It’s never too late!). You are a woman worthy to be loved. The sacrifice you embarked in, inspires me each day to continue to show you my gratitude. I want to give you the world in return for your love. Words and time will never suffice. I love you with all that I am. Thank you for having courage to face this unfair world with grace and courage. You were and are more than enough for me.

She is more than enough.